I live in one of those big fat apartment complexes that have sprouted like mushrooms all around the outskirts of our metros - 1300 odd apartments and about 5000 residents - which is community living at its best (Imagine an eye-roll here) . As you have surmised, I'm not a complete convert, even if I agree that apartment complex living comes with a host of advantages. I may be able to make my peace with a row house in a gated community, which at least gives an illusion of independence and agency ( You wouldn't believe the rules we have to abide by in apartment living - if you have never lived in one. And the rules have only become more draconian after the imposing of lockdown)
In anycase, when I moved in here as a newly wed, courtesy of flat-brat hubby( Which is derogatory for born and raised in an apartment- in case you're curious) I hated it with no reservations. This was a haven. But it was not meant for me. It was meant for families - not for a lonesome twosome who had way too much time on their hands and wanted the restaurants, clubs and youthful social life that living inside the bustle of the city brings. Which this was so not. This place comes with two huge parks ( Sand + swings+ slides+climbing wall+ Mini Jungle gym etc etc) . There are grassed play areas - for cricket, football and all sorts of play) , badminton courts, basketball court, tennis courts and club house has so many toddler to tween classes that they need a separate manager for those classes) and a walking trail surrounded by beautifully landscaped trees, bushes and flowering plants that was more than a kilometer around.
I felt very out of place, because children and old people were completely occupied here - and the middle aged - the kids' parents, were completely engrossed in ferrying them around and forming a social life with the other parents and the grandparents had their own circles of grandparents. Married and without kids were an oddity and had nothing in common with the other adults living here.
But, now I have two children, and thanks to my fore-thinking husband- they have an amazing life. They are never bored. They have friends to play with anytime they care to step out of the door. At least, until the corona scare started, the kids practically lived downstairs .( with adult supervision, of course) They are growing up speaking five languages instead of one which we didn't unless we went to an English medium school - and then we grew up speaking two. They have access to being grubby with sand, like we grew up in the 80s and 90s. They have access to slides and swings which most of us didn't have ready access to when we were kids. ( I had to hike to the community park a kilometer away when I was a child). It seems like an amazing meld of two ways of life- the old and the new. They are privileged indeed, being exposed to the living styles of Punjabis, Manipuris, Maharashtrians, Konkanis, Keralites, name a state and my older child can name a friend from there.
(Well, this is south India after all, so I think the N.E states are not completely represented. But there may only two two missing out of the seven)
But, the past 90 days have left the place eerily empty. There are rules and they are strictly enforced. Atleast in the initial lockdown (you know, 1.0? ) kids just weren't allowed out. No walking, no jogging, no gym, no badminton, no community activity of any sort for adults. No maids- coz who knows if they are carriers. ( Insert eyeroll here ) Over cautious much management committe? ( and before you think, classist managament committee, also no courier, no delivery of any sort, no trainers, no tuition, no group classes , nothing breached the complex other than essential services -namely groceries and veggies and milk during lockdown 1.0.) Managing kids, job ( yup, that didn't stop, being part of the essential services and all -banking, ) cooking, cleaning shopping and all miscellany without a maid told me that I made the right decision in coming back to India. USA, hmmm, not for the weak willed and weaker backed.
In anycase , we are living in an enclosed campus with 5000 odd people. And this lockdown has taught me, that we are just as alone as we would be in an independant house. We may share walls here, but not lives. It's each family for itself in these uniquely challenging times. We are all neighbours afraid of one another , afraid for our own vulnerable, the old and the young. And we are all left with just a few common questions, will this corona fear subside? Can there be an effective treatment protocol for the old people and those with existing diseases that are now resulting in death? And the most burning burning question - Will there be a good vaccine ? When?
In anycase, when I moved in here as a newly wed, courtesy of flat-brat hubby( Which is derogatory for born and raised in an apartment- in case you're curious) I hated it with no reservations. This was a haven. But it was not meant for me. It was meant for families - not for a lonesome twosome who had way too much time on their hands and wanted the restaurants, clubs and youthful social life that living inside the bustle of the city brings. Which this was so not. This place comes with two huge parks ( Sand + swings+ slides+climbing wall+ Mini Jungle gym etc etc) . There are grassed play areas - for cricket, football and all sorts of play) , badminton courts, basketball court, tennis courts and club house has so many toddler to tween classes that they need a separate manager for those classes) and a walking trail surrounded by beautifully landscaped trees, bushes and flowering plants that was more than a kilometer around.
I felt very out of place, because children and old people were completely occupied here - and the middle aged - the kids' parents, were completely engrossed in ferrying them around and forming a social life with the other parents and the grandparents had their own circles of grandparents. Married and without kids were an oddity and had nothing in common with the other adults living here.
But, now I have two children, and thanks to my fore-thinking husband- they have an amazing life. They are never bored. They have friends to play with anytime they care to step out of the door. At least, until the corona scare started, the kids practically lived downstairs .( with adult supervision, of course) They are growing up speaking five languages instead of one which we didn't unless we went to an English medium school - and then we grew up speaking two. They have access to being grubby with sand, like we grew up in the 80s and 90s. They have access to slides and swings which most of us didn't have ready access to when we were kids. ( I had to hike to the community park a kilometer away when I was a child). It seems like an amazing meld of two ways of life- the old and the new. They are privileged indeed, being exposed to the living styles of Punjabis, Manipuris, Maharashtrians, Konkanis, Keralites, name a state and my older child can name a friend from there.
(Well, this is south India after all, so I think the N.E states are not completely represented. But there may only two two missing out of the seven)
But, the past 90 days have left the place eerily empty. There are rules and they are strictly enforced. Atleast in the initial lockdown (you know, 1.0? ) kids just weren't allowed out. No walking, no jogging, no gym, no badminton, no community activity of any sort for adults. No maids- coz who knows if they are carriers. ( Insert eyeroll here ) Over cautious much management committe? ( and before you think, classist managament committee, also no courier, no delivery of any sort, no trainers, no tuition, no group classes , nothing breached the complex other than essential services -namely groceries and veggies and milk during lockdown 1.0.) Managing kids, job ( yup, that didn't stop, being part of the essential services and all -banking, ) cooking, cleaning shopping and all miscellany without a maid told me that I made the right decision in coming back to India. USA, hmmm, not for the weak willed and weaker backed.
In anycase , we are living in an enclosed campus with 5000 odd people. And this lockdown has taught me, that we are just as alone as we would be in an independant house. We may share walls here, but not lives. It's each family for itself in these uniquely challenging times. We are all neighbours afraid of one another , afraid for our own vulnerable, the old and the young. And we are all left with just a few common questions, will this corona fear subside? Can there be an effective treatment protocol for the old people and those with existing diseases that are now resulting in death? And the most burning burning question - Will there be a good vaccine ? When?
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