The musings of a (not-so) single chick in the city. (Don't think that the term chick is derogoratory. We refer to boys by a number of terms). The travails in the life of an ex-miss-goody-two-shoes, ex-journalist, ex-small time model, ex-television actress, of being female in Chennai/ Pune/Bangalore, of ideas old and ideas new....

Saturday, August 16, 2008


We, as in my friends (this particular group is made of girls, primarily) and I, make it a point to talk about sex loudly in public places. And when I say loud, I mean LOUD.

Why? Maybe because we have always been told not to talk about it loudly, and never in public places. Call it the typical teenage rebellion. But we are no longer teenagers. It did begin in our teens. When whoever overheard our whispered talks told us to be quieter about it; and we just talked louder. And the habit has kind of stuck. And now that we are older we talk details , nasty details too and laugh louder when the mallipoo( jasmine) clad maami (generic word for aunty) ( who probably cannot understand the specifics that her husband is glaring at, but has caught the one word she does, SEX) shoots us death darts for being so uncultured and in a public place too.

It might have been cultured not to talk about it, when you get married at 16, even before you begin thinking about this thing that has been denied to us. But, no one gets married at 16 any more. (At least not the educated middle -class, where I belong). When social and financial pressure has increased the age where marriage become appropriate, but the age of attaining sexual maturity decreased, it is kind of sadistic to tell people, “not only must you not do it, but you shouldn't be heard talking about it as well.”

Plus, it is not that young men and women are not indulging in premarital sex, it is just that it is hidden and done secretly. Even telling friends is considered dangerous, coz who knows who will spill the info to whom as the years go by, and how drastic if one's saintly mother has to hear that her angelic daughter was not a virgin when she got married!!!!!

So, talking to a prominent city gynaecologist about the occurrence of pre-marital sex in our virtuous Chennai ( I was researching for an article in my journo days ) was I glad to hear that more than 50% (which was her conservative estimate). of middle and higher income group youngsters indulging in pre-marital Doing IT. Oh yes, I was. (Based on those who come to her and her colleagues for prescription contraceptives and for D&Cs, the latter is a whole other sad story) ….

Now, that I have meandered on and on randomly about one of my pet subjects,
Till next time.


ess said...

I think the last but one line sums up the post perfectly. You started out as if there was some big conclusion that you've drawn about our attitude towards sex. And then... fizzle fizzle fizzle. (Just finished judging a debate, and I still haven't gotten out of that mindset)

And "Oh yes, I was" ? That's all you have to say about it?

Anonymous said...

started reading ur blog at 3 AM and ended up 9:06 AM.... and finally ended up confused.

And the reason for posting up my comment here is, 'THE BOLDEST' post from a Chennai girl.

of course, I go with the one who commented previously, started perfectly.... ended up with no conclusion.

Arun said...

Gosh.. sex had been turned to a taboo topic only in the recent century. Proofs are many in the tamil literature that pre marital sex had been present since ages. Ardent literature reader shud get reminded about the kalavu manam in tamil classics.

I wonder why talking about it is a taboo topic if the book of love originated from india. ugghb another act of male chauvenism and a feeling of insecurity.