The musings of a (not-so) single chick in the city. (Don't think that the term chick is derogoratory. We refer to boys by a number of terms). The travails in the life of an ex-miss-goody-two-shoes, ex-journalist, ex-small time model, ex-television actress, of being female in Chennai/ Pune/Bangalore, of ideas old and ideas new....

Friday, June 24, 2011

The things I learnt over the summer

Summer is over, and back in Pune, it's already the monsoon season. And when it is not drizzling, the breeze is cool, and it was a jolt when I arrived here after being in Chennai for three months where the summer is still going strong. Of course, in Chennai, we don't really have any other season. It's summer all year round. (Discounting the two measly months of December and January, where it might not be as hot.)

In Pune though, the current weather is perfect for staying in bed all day, drifting in and out of sleep, and lamenting the fact that classes will start in a day or two, and that nine a.m arrives too soon in the day.

So, enjoying the lazing around, amongst other things I was thinking about what is it that I have learnt over the summer, from both my experience and from people around me.

1.  Indians who go to the US on short holidays totally miss the point of what that country is all about. The good and the bad.

2. Girls who are torn between two men and their love, and have a pathological need for drama, have to have the choice made for them. If not, it will be a love triangle for all their lives, which might be fine if not for the small fact of three sets of parents and siblings whose lives are kind of screwed. So, one needs to send such girls to therapists.

3. Human males who have pounding headaches should not attempt to have sex.

4. Management school teachers who use the non-word 'learnings' with a 's' at the end should be sent to elementary school again.

5. Ethics are a thing of the past as far as corporate hospitals are concerned. In the run for profits, the line between right and wrong has never been this blurry, ever.

6. Nieces and nephews, those cuddly things with bright, inquisitive gazes are enough to reaffirm anybody's faith in humanity.

7. The way to keep parents happy is saying 'yes' to most of their demands, and knowing when to keep one's mouth shut, and living in a place far enough away that they cannot jump into a train to see one, without disrupting very many peoples' schedules.

8. One should not walk into a ladies restroom in a club known for its homosexual clientile in Chennai or by extension, any other city, without knocking, or preferably, pounding on the door, unless one wishes to see  lesbian porn between a female from one's own group and a strange girl. I guess this applies for the men's restroom too.

9. One needs to be very careful with what one tells one's match-making friends, else they will ask for one's horoscope to send to one of their friend's parents.

10. Mangoes, for all their yummy-ness are loaded with calories. Well, I knew this already. Now, I know it even better.