The musings of a (not-so) single chick in the city. (Don't think that the term chick is derogoratory. We refer to boys by a number of terms). The travails in the life of an ex-miss-goody-two-shoes, ex-journalist, ex-small time model, ex-television actress, of being female in Chennai/ Pune/Bangalore, of ideas old and ideas new....

Monday, March 13, 2023

The future of domestic help in India

 I have been raised lazy. I'm not trying to explain away my laziness, but trying to give context. In my middle class south Indian background with a working mother, there was always a domestic help around during my childhood. Going to the US when I hit 20, I had to do all my household chores by myself. But because I was only doing it for myself, and not a family of four, I found it do-able.  But it was a nuisance. And it opened my eyes to how most of the middle class in the developed world lived - sans domestic help. And ever since, I have been waiting for the women in India drop their brooms and mops and say- "We don't want to work as domestic helps anymore." Because that day is coming. Maybe even within our lifetimes. 

My mother's maids educated their daughters. My own maid's daughter has a degree, is working in a BPO and is actively encouraging her mother to stop working as a domestic help. My former maid, who took a career break a few years ago to go to her native place to take care of her ailing father, once she came back and saw that all the houses she worked at had gotten others to fill her shoes, decided to take an alternate path. She has taken up work as housekeeping staff at a corporate office. The hours are strict, but the pay is good, she has colleagues she hangs out with at break time and she gets health insurance so she can go to a private hospital for treatment while before, she had to go to the government hospital and be ill-treated. 

The country is trying to educate as many women as possible and the economy is booming. Many middle class working women in certain urban pockets are finding it hard to get affordable domestic help. This is mainly due to the fact the area around them maybe too posh/too expensive to have any lower-middle or lower income living pockets nearby. Since availability becomes an issue/ demand becomes high, and the few women willing to make the trip into those posh areas drive up the salaries, and the comparatively not as rich households there cannot afford to pay the salaries demanded by the domestic helps. So they learn to do without domestic helps. 

As for the domestic helps themselves, if a woman has school going kids, has larges swathes of the day free and has a mind to work, there are plenty of opportunities for her now that she didn't have a few decades ago. Is it any wonder that more and more women prefer to work in garment/glass/ceramic/plastic/fill-in-industry-of choice factories than to work as a domestic help? Especially if they get skilled in their profession of choice and can command a good pay check, why would they ever go back to working as domestic helps? Because lets face it, this is an unregulated industry - and the people employing the domestic helps aren't always good employers. For every lazy/incompetent/sticky fingered domestic helps story you hear, there are equal number of draconian/bigotted/kanjoos/demanding more than they pay for- employer stories. 

If there's anything that the COVID lockdowns have taught people, its that self- reliance is the best. Many domestic helps I know have taken up alternate careers after the lockdowns. Many middle-class working women I know have tech-ed up their houses and have stopped having domestic helps. I'm not saying that the whole system of having household help is going to stop anytime soon. We still have a long way to go to ensure that every girl child gets educated. But looking at every other "developed" country around, this system will stop one day, and it's coming sooner rather than later. 





Tuesday, February 7, 2023

The excellent casting in the movie Bombay

 Arvind Swamy and Manisha Koirala might have been well cast as the leads in Bombay, but the absolute winners there were Kitty and Nassar. I mean, those two are the ones who come to mind when thinking about this movie, though their combined screen time would hardly be one third of the movie. And to think about all these people protesting that movies these days are having plenty of Muslim men characters romancing Hindu women characters( Laxmii, Toofaan, Kalank, etc. My theory is that Bollywood is trying to show its attitude about inter-faith marriage in films as it happens in Metros- it's happening, it's nothing major, love triumphs above all, just chill and can't everyone else chill out about it too, please?) as a trend, long ago in the movie Bombay, not only was it was the other way around, but the sheer faith-blind casting was a treat to watch. 

Nasser, a Muslim by faith, was great as an upper caste Tamil Shaivaite character and Kitty, an upper caste Tamil Hindu was cast as a economically-weaker section Muslim character. And wow, did they deliver as they were cast!!!! And what superior acting, that it doesn't strike you at all till much later the diabolical mind that must have known, acknowledged and thrown out on its nose, the reality of these men, just so movie magic can happen. Of course I'm talking about Mani Ratnam and his diabolical mind. He must also have known the fact they, Nasser and Kitty, were basically acting out the other's future when it came time for their real life children to marry. Lol.











Sunday, January 29, 2023

Child Friendly Bollywood songs for viewing

 I have small kids - girls - and they like Bollywood Numbers. The higher the tempo, the better. The problem is that once they have listened to a song and begin liking it, they want to see it. Yup, if you have small kids and want to give them a healthy body image in later life, your plan is already screwed what with the constant messaging everywhere they get about thin=beautiful, fair=beautiful, less clothes= sexy/desirable. So, I am reluctant to let them watch the videos until they are older and can understand why the Bollywood industry panders to the male gaze and now more and more to the female gaze as well. But, now as they get older, the struggle to keep them from the TV is real and on going. 

In any case, I am trying to compile catchy beats that are child appropriate (read - less skin show by both male and female actors) , and now that is almost impossible, then at least, songs that have no titillation, kissing, overtly-sexual content, inebriation - excessive drinking/drug consumption,  etc. Also, while, we are at it, why don't we have a age rating system for music videos/movie songs that has to be compulsorily displayed before the song is shown on TV?

These are the kind of songs seem okay for 3-6 year olds:

1. Dol Bhaje and intro song (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam)

2.  Shava Shava  and Bole Chudiya( Kabhi Kushie Kabhi Gham)

3. Pinga (Bajirao Mastani)

4. Ghar More Pardesiya (Kalank)

5. Radha Kaise na Jale (Lagaan)

6. Naacho Naacho (RRR)

Do you have any additions to this list?