My youngest has joined the Hrithik Roshan bandwagon.....Yay! I now have company in wanting to see his songs (who has the patience to sit through movies these days? or the time?) ....of course, she is 4 and her appreciation for his face and dance have a completely different emotion attached to it, but still.....Yay!!
Now, as kids, we all thought we could do better than our parents. Come on, didn't you tell yourself at least once, "If I had a kid, I would deal with the kid completely differently compared to these idiots."? Or some version of that? Especially when beaten by our no-issues-with-corporal-punishment parents' generation? Never the sparing rod 70's, 80's, even 90's parents?
Turns out that effective parenting is not as easy as we thought it was, just like most adult responsibilities.
Where do we draw the line between guiding a child and forcing a child against his/her will? That is my question for the day. My older kid is strong willed, and my younger one is worse.
Most kids don't have good decision making skills - this is a fact. Mostly because they live in the now. Study now play later - is lost on them, because later seems too far away. Getting them to do home-work itself is a chore, depending on mood, subject, the teacher's personality ("That Mam is so mean" or That mam is angry all the time, I don't like her) or "I wanna watch TV" demands, etc.
Sending them to extra-curricular classes : this is my current parenting issue. What is a reasonable demand vs an impossible demand? Sending them to one/two classes per week seems to be reasonable to me. Since these classes are scheduled bang in between their play time, it seems to be impossible to them.
Is it fair to the child to force him/her to learn a skill against their will? If they cry and protest, won't their mood and attitude affect the learning outcomes? Just because he/she cries and makes a scene, shouldn't I, being the older, responsible adult, looking to the long term, force him/her to attend the class?
Where should I put my foot down and where shouldn't I? Questions, questions. Sigh.
As one grows older, one begins to get wisdom - or so they claim. I am just left with more unanswered questions and fewer definite answers. I write less, I exercise less, I play less, I eat less, I spend less on myself. The only thing that being an older adult and all that it entails have left me is more work. As a kid I thought that the adults have everything. But now I find that the opposite is true. Adults have a lot of work and responsibilities and very less enjoyment, true enjoyment, that we experienced as kids. I assume that once I become a true old lady - in my 60's maybe , If I live that long and retire from a full time job, I may have more time on my hands to do as I see fit, but I doubt it. By then, I would hopefully be a grandmother, and grandmothers have a lot of work too. But, I digress.
Enjoyment in the small things: Are the longer lived years making us more jaded compared to kids where a lot of experiences are new? And with time, will we lose more of our joie de verve and be filled with ennui for life? Is this why some older people get religious- seeking God as a way to feel some joy? Also, Is this why some older people get better at accepting the concept of death? Aaah, I'm so bored with this world, I might as well go?
I am trying to understand joy and the pull this emotion has on us, to keep us tethered in this realm. I am trying to find a way to keep joy in my life and clearly failing miserably as a lot of things feel designed to pull me down. All I'm left with is weird pondering that goes nowhere. And then I get back to my chores. Aah, the humdrum of middle class life with middle class concerns, time tables to be followed, lunches to be packed and meetings that need attending and people who need to be called back. What would we do without you all?
